Easy recipe for spoiled fruit

  • Start with lots of blessings.
  • Let those blessings turn to rot.
  • Romans 6:1; 2:4

Examples of spoiling

  • Giving too much permission
    • Proverbs 29:15
  • Giving too much stuff
    • Luke 15:12-13
  • Giving too much discipline
    • Colossians 3:21

Why do we spoil our children?

  • Selfishness – easier to give stuff than sacrifice:
    • My time
    • My effort
    • My preferences
    • My emotional comfort
    • My pride
    • My ease
  • Misguided compassion
    • Giving all my time
    • Giving all my effort
    • Giving them all their preferences
    • Preserving their emotional comfort
    • Reinforcing their pride
    • Making them always at ease

The danger of spoiling your kids …

  • Destination without the journey
    • They will try to start their adult lives with all that you have now, starting at the point that it took you decades to reach.
  • Creates a selfish, entitlement mentality.
  • Something is wrong if:
    • Others don’t serve me
    • I don’t get my way
    • I don’t get what I want, when I want it
  • Creates expectations, defines normal
    • Discontentment
    • Rebellion
    • Foolish, near-sighted decisions

Spoiled … fruitful?

  • Galatians 5:22-23
  • Imagine the outcome if you spoil your child with …
    • Deuteronomy 6:5-9 – Time spent daily as a family in devotion to God, reading, meditating on, and discussing His word together.
    • I Thessalonians 5:16 – Rejoicing in the Lord.
    • Ephesians 4:29 – Days filled with words of exhortation.
    • I Thessalonians 5:17 – Praying frequently.
    • Hebrews 12:11 – Discipline for their good, yielding peaceful fruits of righteousness.
    • Ephesians 4:3; Hebrews 13:1; John 13:35 – Peace and unity in the local church.


  • They might reach the destination without the same struggles of your journey.
  • You may create someone obsessed with receiving an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled.
  • They may think something is wrong if:
    • Days are filled with entertainment and self-satisfaction
    • There is complaining
    • Words are used idly and for tearing down
    • Others are quick to gossip
    • Life is undisciplined and fulfilling the desires of the flesh
    • There is division and unrest among brethren
  • They may have unrealistic expectations that clash with the reality of those around them, living a life …
    • Discontentment with others’ apathy toward spiritual things
    • Rebelling against society inciting others to rise up, too
    • Making foolish decisions with eternity in mind

But the danger still holds true

  • They must learn spiritual wealth does not come easy
    • It takes their investment and effort
    • It needs their growth mindset
    • They must defend against thieves who would swindle them of their inheritance
    • They have to cherish and value it – understand how much they must be willing to give up for it
      • Time
      • Effort
      • Preferences
      • Emotional comfort
      • Pride
      • Ease

How should we proceed?

  • Deuteronomy 8
    • Deuteronomy 8:2-5 – Give discipline, direction, provision, and hunger
    • Deuteronomy 8:6-14 – With reward and warning
    • Deuteronomy 8:16 – With purpose (Hebrews 12:10)
  • Deuteronomy 8:18