First, I must WANT to listen.

• Proverbs 2:1-2 – “attentive … incline your heart”
• Matthew 13:15 – “with their ears they scarcely hear”
• Luke 8:15 – “heard the word in an honest and good heart”
• John 10:20 – “Why do you listen to Him?”
• It starts with the right heart.
• Listening does not mean you agree. But we must be courteous enough to listen.
• Things that prevent good listening.
  • Differing interests
  • Different personalities

Slow down to avoid “flooding.”

• James 1:19-20
• The “flooding” response in men is more reactive and slower to recover than in women. Men are more easily overwhelmed by marital conflict.
• Ecclesiastes 3:7 – “A time to be silent and a time to speak.”
• Showing down and controlling anger: Proverbs 15:28; 14:29; 16:32; 17:27; 19:11; 29:11
• Psalms 4:4 – In other words, “sleep on it.”
• Withdrawal – pursuit
  • Plan a time to talk

Focus on listening before figuring out your response.

• Proverbs 18:13 – “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.”
• Proverbs 17:14 – “The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.”
• Proverbs 20:3 – “Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.”
• Luke 2:46-47 – Jesus listening an asking questions.

The Speaker Listener technique

• From the book Fighting for your Marriage
• (This is a great way to apply James 1:19.)
• One person is the Speaker and the other is the Listener.
• Rules for both of you:
  • The Speaker has the floor.
  • Share the floor.
  • No problem-solving.
• Rules for the Speaker:
  • Speak for yourself. Don’t mind read.
  • Don’t go on and on.
  • Stop and let the Listener paraphrase.
• Rules for the Listener:
  • Paraphrase what you hear.
  • Don’t rebut. Focus on the Speaker’s message.

Introduction

• Exodus 12:24 – Who would think they could ever forget the tenth plague? But God set up a memorial for it right from the beginning.

Proclaim the Lord’s death to them.

• I Corinthians 11:23-26 – The Lord’s Supper
• Galatians 2:20

Show them how to benefit from a sermon.

• Acts 17:10-11 – The Bereans carefully considered Paul’s words.
• The real benefit is in our daily living.

Point out good Christians as role models for them.

• Philippians 3:17
• Acts 16:1-3

Pray with them all the time.

• II Kings 19:8-20
• II Kings 20:1-3 – When trouble came, Hezekiah turned to God.

Get them in the habit of reading the Bible.

• Luke 10:25-26
• Luke 16:30-31 – The scripture is more powerful than someone rising from the dead!
• Bible reading must become a habit.

Put down your device and have human interaction.

• Acts 2:44-47

Show them how to recover from a sin.

• II Samuel 12:7, 13 – We must be able to admit our sin.
• Psalms 51:1
• I John 2:1

[Due to technical difficulties, this class was not recorded. Sorry about that! —MRW]

Luke 6

Luke 6:1-11

• The Pharisees kept trying to catch Jesus doing something they considered illegal on the Sabbath. See also Luke 14:3; Matthew 12:9.
• See Mark 3:4-5 – Jesus knew there was hardness in their hearts.
• John 7:23
• Matthew 15:19
• Proverbs 4:23
• Compare the application in Luke 6:37-42. Clean up yourself first, then you can help another.
• Luke 6:43-45 – Out of a good heart comes good things.

Luke 6:12-19 – Jesus chooses His apostles, teaches, and works miracles

• John 20:30-31

Luke 6:20-26 – Beatitudes and woes

• Luke 6:21, 25 – See Ecclesiastes 3:4. What time is it?
  • II Corinthians 7:8-10
  • Psalms 32:1-5, 10-11
  • Jeremiah 6:15 – It is necessary that we sorrow over sin, but we must not sorrow for too long.
  • II Corinthians 7:11
  • Acts 2:37-38 – Godly sorrow led to repentance, baptism, and salvation.

Luke 6:46-48

Are people doing miracles today?

• I Corinthians 13:8-13 – Miraculous gifts would go away when the perfect came.
• Romans 8:24
• John 20:30-31

What about Mark 16?

• Mark 16:14-20 – Is verse 17 saying that signs would accompany everyone who believed?
• Even in the New Testament period, not all Christians could work miracles.
• Also, Jesus said that miraculous gifts would go away.
• Possible explanations:
  • Jesus was talking about some people being given spiritual gifts, speaking in a general sense.
  • Jesus was only referring to the apostles.

Is this conclusion falsifiable?

• Yes – if someone works a miracle!
• Acts 3:1-13

• I Corinthians 14:22
• We should at least be able to agree that if someone is claiming to do miracles and signs today, including speaking in tongues, they shouldn’t be contradicting anything taught in scripture. I Corinthians 14:37; I John 4:1-6; II Thessalonians 2:9-10
• I don’t know what God does in answer to prayer. James 5:16

You see what you’re looking for … so look for the GOOD in your spouse.

• Philippians 4:8 – Dwell on these (positive) things
• I Corinthians 1:4; 11:2; II Corinthians 7:3-4, 16; 8:7; 9:2 – Paul found things to compliment about the Corinthians. (Yes, those!)
• Proverbs 4:23; Matthew 15:19 – Heart actions
• Proverbs 21:9, 19 – Marriage can be miserable.
• I Corinthians 13:4-7 – Love is optimistic.
• Proverbs 17:19 – Drop it already.
• Genesis 29:20 – This is what it looks like when positive interpretations outweigh the negative.

Little things every day are more powerful than empty grand gestures.

• I John 1:6-7 – Nowhere does God instruct people to do the right thing only occasionally.
• I John 3:16-18 – If you were put on trial, and the court was trying to determine if you love your spouse, could they find enough evidence to prove it?
  • How does your wife know you love her?
  • How does your husband know you love him?
• Matthew 6:5 – Consistent love > empty gestures