Love is a choice. It’s not about finding my “soul mate.”

• Malachi 2:14. Notice the phrase “wife by covenant.”
• Colossians 3:19. The very fact that God is commanding this implies that husbands have a choice: love or be bitter.
• I Peter 3:1. Some men are nice even if they’re not Christians. But others are not. Either way, the wife is told to choose and control her behavior.
• I Corinthians 13:4-7. Love is not based on the feeling of the moment. Love does what is right.
• Romans 5:8. Vine comments on this verse in his dictionary: “It was an exercise of the divine will in deliberate choice, made without assignable cause save that which lies in the nature of God Himself.”

Keep strengthening your relationship through all of life’s stages and changes.

• Dating
  • “Now Jacob loved Rachel” (Genesis 29:18)
  • “Joseph … along with Mary, who was engaged to him” (Luke 2:4-5)
• Early marriage
  • “When a man takes a new wife … he shall be free at home one year and shall give happiness to his wife” (Deuteronomy 24:5)
  • “rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18)
• Kids
  • “children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” (Psalms 127:3)
  • “teach … your sons” (Deuteronomy 6:7)
• Empty nest
  • “leave his father and his mother” (Genesis 2:24)
• Grandkids
  • “Grandchildren are the crown of old men” (Proverbs 17:6)
• Old age
  • “youth, before the evil days come …” (Ecclesiastes 12:1)
• Loss
  • “Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah” (Genesis 23:2)

We should follow his example of leadership.

We should learn the importance of obedience.

We should grow into greatness.

Availability of scriptures to early Christians

• Today we have an infinite number of Bibles and translations.
• Before the Gutenberg Bible (1454), only hand-written copies
• Handwritten copies cost several years’ salary.
• Did churches have complete Bibles?
• Most experienced Scripture through sermons and readings.

Application to our study

• Early Christians heard the word read.
• Early Christians would remember the principles taught.
• Emphasis on “doing it” – Luke 8:21

Women / parable of debtors (Luke 7:36-50)

• Sinful woman, wash feet with tears
• Pharisee critical
• Two debtors, small / large amount forgiven
• Debtor with largest debt loves more.
• Woman had great sin, great love.
• Principle: Great love results in great forgiveness.

Parable of the sower (Luke 8:4-15)

• (Seed is word of God)
• Road (no root, devil takes away)
• Rocky (shallow root, believe then fell)
• Thorny (root, choked by worries, riches, and pleasures of life)
• Good soil (firm root, held and shared)
• Principle: The condition of our heart determines the effectiveness of God’s word in our lives.

Parable of the lamp (Luke 8:16-21)

• Principle: We have a responsibility to let God’s light shine, share the good news.

Jesus stills the sea (Luke 8:22-25)

• Principle: Have faith in Jesus. He has power over nature.

Demonic cured (Luke 8:26-39)

• Principle: Have faith in Jesus. He has power over demons.

Jairus / woman with hemorrhage (Luke 8:40-56 / Mark 5:21-43)

• Principle: Have faith in Jesus. He has power over sickness and death.

Summary of principles

• Great love results in great forgiveness
• Effectiveness of God’s word depends on our heart
• Let God’s light shine
• Jesus has power over nature
• Jesus has power over demons
• Jesus has power over sickness / death
• These are simple principles. The challenge is incorporating them into our lives.

Introduction

• Hebrews 11:13-16
• Philippians 3:20
• Acts 1:9-11 – Heaven is a real place!
• I Thessalonians 4:16
• Ecclesiastes 12:7 – Our spirit goes back to God who gave it.

… I’ll finally be with God.

• Matthew 25:34, 41, 46
• Hebrews 9:24
• Matthew 7:23
• Hell is the place where God is not.
• I John 3:1-2
• I Thessalonians 4:17-18.

… I’ll be with other saints.

• I Thessalonians 4:15-17
• Will we have our memories in heaven?
• Revelation 6:9-11

… my problems on earth will be left behind.

• Luke 16:19-26
• Hebrews 4:8-11 – God’s people have a better rest than what the Israelites received in the promised land.
• Matthew 5:11
• Romans 8:18

… I will enjoy it!

• James 1:17-18 – God knows how to bless us. If He can make earth, surely, He can make Heaven amazing!

Therefore, I should live life like a citizen of Heaven.

• Philippians 3:19-20
• Our conduct must match our citizenship.
• Colossians 3:1-2
• Matthew 6:19-21 – Lay up treasure in Heaven.
• Philippians 2:5-8

Introduction

• Psalms 119:105
• James 3:2

Use a bunch of positive words.

• Job 13:4-5; 19:1-3; 2:9 – Job’s friends and wife.
• Proverbs 18:21 – Words can do a log of good or a lot of bad.
• Proverbs 21:19 – “a nagging and hot-tempered wife”
• Colossians 3:19 – a better and harsh husband
• One the positive side, think about how husbands and wives fulfill the verses in Ephesians 5:28-29, 33 and I Peter 3:7.
• Proverbs 12:25 – Say positive things to your spouse.
• Use those little words that mean so much.
  • “I’m sorry” – Luke 15:21
  • “I forgive you” – Matthew 6:14-15
  • “Please” – Acts 26:3; Nehemiah 5:10-11
  • “Thank you” – Luke 17:16
  • “Good job” – Proverbs 31:28-29
  • “I love you” – Song of Solomon 1:7

Plan your words carefully and soften your start-up.

• Proverbs 15:1-2
• Ephesians 4:15, 29 – Speak in love, for edification.
• Proverbs 12:18 – “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tonque of the wise brings healing.”

De-escalate (and respond when your spouse is trying to de-escalate).

• James 1:19 – “quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger”
• Ephesians 4:31-32; Colossians 3:8-9, 12-13 – As Christians, we can’t continue to communicate in the same old ugly ways as the past. We are new people, growing and maturing in our attitudes and words.
• “Four horsemen of the apocalypse” – From The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
  • Horseman 1: Criticism
  • Horseman 2: Contempt
  • Horseman 3: Defensiveness
  • Horseman 4: Stonewalling
• “Demon dialogues” – Dr. Sue Johnson, Created for Connection
  • Find the bad guy
  • Protest polka
  • Freeze and flee

Learn how to learn and compromise with perpetual differences

• Acts 3:19 – If we’re guilty of any sin, that needs to change.
• Ephesians 5; I Peter 3 – love, sacrifice, nourish, cherish, respect, honor, understanding
• I Corinthians 13:4-7 – Love!

Speak with clarity

• Genesis 11:1, 7-9
  • There are a lot of ways God could have stopped that project. But messing up their ability to communicate was the method He chose, and it put an immediate end to their work.
  • Imagine and husband and wife who aren’t able to communicate clearly. How will they share their lives together?
• I Corinthians 14:8, 19 – If your communication is not clear, what’s the point?
• Titus 2:4 – Who are they supposed to love? THEIR husbands.
• Ephesians 5:28 – Love who? THEIR wives.