By David Watson

Benchley, June 18, 2017

  • Ephesians 6:4
  • I Timothy 3:4
  • Tough love
    • Colossians 3:21
    • Ephesians 6:4
    • Hebrews 12:7-11
    • Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 23:13-14; 29:15-17
  • Tender love
    • I John 3:16-18
    • Romans 5:8
    • John 3:16
    • Matthew 18:21-35
    • Luke 23:43
    • I Thessalonians 2:5-12
  • Presence
    • Isaac – Genesis 26:3
    • Moses – Exodus 3:11-12
    • Joshua – Joshua 1:5
    • David – Psalms 38:21-22
    • John 14:16
    • Matthew 28:20
    • Luke 13:25-29
    • Philippians 3:17
  • Fathers matter!

Godly Families, Part 23

Posted by mark under Classes

By David Watson

Benchley, February 5, 2017

  • Train children to respect and obey authority (continued):
    • Consider the following views (continued):
      • “I love my child too much to discipline him/her”
        • Hebrews 12:7-8
        • Proverbs 13:24
      • “Wait till your father gets home!” or “Wait till your mother gets home!”
        • Proverbs 1:8
        • Proverbs 19:26
        • Ephesians 6:1-3
  • (Grand)parenting applications: training children to respect and obey authority
Specific Goal Passage(s) to discuss & guide Ways (grand)parents can exemplify and teach Temptations and hindrances Behaviors to correct
Reject the entitlement mentality Luke 17:7-10; Philippians 4:11-12; II Thessalonians 3:10 Work hard; don’t expect bosses to give you special handouts Culture of low expectations and little work ethic; lazy parents “Gimme gimme gimme!”
Listen well II Kings 17:13-14; Proverbs 2:1ff; 12:15; 18:13, 17 Model active listening; have them explain what you just said. Distracted, disinterested, planning what to say Interrupting
Be respectful and considerate in a disagreement Acts 18:4; 26:24-25 Let kids observe you settling disputes properly; don’t jump in and settle every conflict for them. Impatience, selfishness Tendency not to share, negotiate, compromise

 

Godly Families, Part 16

Posted by mark under Classes

By David Watson

Benchley, December 4, 2016

  • Train children to pursue Biblical goals (continued):
    • Don’t commit “The Eli Mistake”
    • The more consistent we are, the better
      • Numbers 23:19 – God is perfectly consistent, but that doesn’t mean He never changed His plans.
      • Galatians 1:6-9
    • Clear, specific instructions are helpful.
      • Proverbs 7:1, 6-10, 17-27
    • Discipline should be appropriate, but severe enough to make a difference.
      • Remember the final goal of discipline. Hebrews 12:11
    • Look for opportunities to develop character starting at birth, and enrich these over time.
      • Ecclesiastes 12:1
      • II Timothy 3:15
      • I Samuel 17:42-45
      • II Chronicles 34:3
    • Teaching: God is powerful
      • Hebrews 1:3; Colossians 1:17
  • Train children to love God
    • Examples of faith
      • Noah – Genesis 6:9
      • Job – Job 2:3
      • David – Acts 13:22; Psalms 18:1
      • Abraham – James 2:23
      • These me all believed God was with them all the time, loved Him, and wanted to serve Him.
    • We must instill the proper motivation.
      • What’s wrong with just raising our kids to know that if they misbehave, they will be punished?

 

Godly Families, Part 15

Posted by mark under Classes

By David Watson

Benchley, November 27, 2016

  • Parents: radically commit to tender love and tough love (continued):
    • Employ a radical amount of tough love (continued):
      • Say whatever it takes (continued):
        • Are there some pitfalls parents should avoid? (continued)
          • Being hypocritical. Romans 2:1
        • Psalm 119:11 – We should use the Bible when we talk with our kids.
        • II Timothy 3:16 – Parents should use the Bible when talking with their kids both in good times and bad. Children should not lean to dread times when the Bible comes out.
      • Diana Baumrind’s research
          • Baumrind is a psychologist who began studying parenting styles back in the 1960s.
          • She emphasized two measures of parenting:
            • Responsiveness – how responsive parents are to children’s needs
            • Demandingness – how much parents expect children to mature, learn responsibility, and follow rules
            • These correspond to our study of Biblical parenting: tender love and tough love.
          • Baumrind’s Parenting Styles
        Responsiveness (tough love) High Permissive parents Authoritative parents

        (These parents tend to turn out great kids!)

        Low Neglectful parents Authoritarian parents
        Low High
        Demandingness (tough love)
          • God’s Parenting Styles
        Responsiveness (tough love) High “a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother” Proverbs 29:15 “love their children” Titus 2:4; “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” Ephesians 6:4
        Low “he who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” Proverbs 13:24 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart” Colossians 3:21
        Low High
        Demandingness (tough love)
      • Proverbs 1:8-9; 6:20-21 – Father and mother should be a balanced parenting team.
  • Train children to pursue Biblical goals
    • Envision long-term goals and work toward them.
      • Proverbs 22:6 reminds parents to look forward to when the child is old.
      • Hebrews 12:11 – notice the difference between discipline in the moment and afterward.
    • Five things we want of our children
      • To love God
      • To love others
      • To know God’s word
      • To respect and obey authority
      • To develop moral excellence
    • Don’t commit “The Eli Mistake”
      • Eli was basically a good, religious man.
        • He served as Israel’s High Priest and judge. I Samuel 1:9; 4:18
        • He respected God’s word. I Samuel 3:18
        • He was bold. I Samuel 1:12-14
        • His kids were involved in religious activities. I Samuel 1:3; 4:4
        • He was compassionate. I Samuel 2:11, 20
      • But now, let’s notice the bad news about Eli and his sons.
        • Hophni and Phineas were sinners! I Samuel 2:12-17
        • Eli certainly didn’t approve of their behavior, and scolded them. I Samuel 2:22-25
        • Still, God said Eli honored his sons above God. I Samuel 2:29
        • God pronounced judgment on Eli’s house because, as a father, he knew his sons were doing wrong but “he did not rebuke them.” I Samuel 3:13
      • Parenting should focus on the end result.
        • Eli was a good man in several ways. He was upset with his sons’ behavior and scolded them.  None of that changed the fact that he just didn’t go far enough as a father!
        • We must do more than worry, wring our hands, be upset, or scold our kids. We must bring every ounce of tender love and tough love to bear until we bring about positive change.

Godly Families, Part 14

Posted by mark under Classes

By David Watson

Benchley, November 20, 2016

  • Parents: radically commit to tender love and tough love (continued):
    • Employ a radical amount of tough love (continued):
      • Do whatever it takes (continued):
        • What principles should we learn from these passages? (continued)
          • Ecclesiastes 8:11
          • Hebrews 12:4-11
        • Further points about discipline
          • Be different from popular culture. Romans 12:2
          • Enforce the word “no.” Ephesians 6:1-2
          • Don’t be afraid to cross your child. II Samuel 18:5, 33-19:7; I Kings 1:5-6
        • Say whatever it takes.
          • God’s ways of communicating with people.
            • God informed people of his rules and expectations. Genesis 3:3; Deuteronomy 30:15-20
            • He encouraged them to avoid trouble. Genesis 4:6-7
            • He warned them of punishment if they didn’t change. Jonah 3:1-4
            • He nurtured and loved them. Hosea 11:1-4
            • He reminded them to learn from mistakes of others. Zechariah 1:1-6
            • He rebuked. II Samuel 2:7
          • Are there some pitfalls parents should avoid?
            • Assuming kids know better. Deuteronomy 6:6-9
            • Detaching the Bible from real life. James 1:22

Godly Families, Part 13

Posted by mark under Classes

By David Watson

Benchley, November 6, 2016

  • Parents: radically commit to tender love and tough love (continued)
    • Employ a radical amount of tender love (continued)
      • What was the greatest way God showed His love for us?
        • I John 4:9-10; Titus 3:4-5; Romans 5:8
      • Employ a radical amount of tough love
        • Ephesians 6:4
          • “bring”: same word used in Ephesians 5:29
          • “discipline”: includes punishment that is likely to bring temporary sorrow (Hebrews 12:11)
          • “instruction”: rebuking; warning (see I Corinthians 10:11; Titus 3:10)
        • Do whatever it takes
          • Tough love involves appropriate punishment and consequences in harmony with God’s will.
          • The Bible does not endorse child abuse! Such abuse is sin!  Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21; Hebrews 12:11
          • What principles should we learn from these passages?
            • Proverbs 13:24
            • Proverbs 19:18
            • Proverbs 22:15
            • Proverbs 23:13-14
            • Proverbs 24:15-17

Godly Families, Part 6

Posted by mark under Classes

By David Watson

Benchley, August 28, 2016

  • Men: lead and sacrifice with love
    • With understanding and honor
      • I Peter 3:7 – God holds wives in high regard. See Matthew 27:9; Genesis 1:27; 2:22; Malachi 2:14-16.  If husbands do not properly treat their wives with understanding and honor, it hinders their relationship with God.
    • A father must lead his children.
      • Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:4-11 – Children should be disciplined with their best interests in mind.
      • Job 1:5
      • Sadly, 71% of all high school dropouts, 85% of all youth in prison, and 90% of all homeless and runaway children come from fatherless homes. (Daly)
      • Fathers must be careful not to provoke or exasperate their children. Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21

Avoiding Dysfunction

Posted by mark under Sermons

By Jason Garcia

Benchley, April 26, 2016

  • I Samuel 2:12-25; II Samuel 13-18
  • Family dysfunction
    • The family of Eli
      • Eli: Judge, high priest, father – I Samuel 1:3, 9; 4:18
      • Hophni and Phinehas: Priests, no moral character – I Samuel 2:12
      • Hophni and Phinehas abused priesthood/people – I Samuel 2:13-16
      • Irreverent, immoral, rebellios – I Samuel 2:17, 22, 25
    • David, Absalom, Amnon, Tamar
      • Absalom rapes Tamar – II Samuel 13:1, 13-14
      • Absalom’s hatred grows – II Samuel 13:20-22
      • Absalom revels, executed – II Samuel 13-18
    • Lessons for parents
      • Family priorities
        • Vigilance in instruction, discipline – I Kings 1:6
        • Too busy for the kingdom? Matthew 6:31-33
      • Maintain discipline
        • Eli failed – I Samuel 2:24-25; 3:13
        • Beyond redemption point – Proverbs 19:18
          • Hebrews 6:6
        • Fight passivity – II Samuel 13:21
          • Luke 10:42
          • Work through difficulty – II Samuel 14:28
        • Love without partiality
          • Misplaced devotion – I Samuel 2:29
          • Feeding sibling rivalry – Genesis 25:27-28
        • Heed the warnings – I Samuel 2:22; II Samuel 12:21

Discipline of the Lord

Posted by mark under Sermons

By Jason Garcia

Benchley, April 25, 2016

  • Hebrews 12:7-11
  • Discipline is necessary and unpleasant – Proverbs 19:18; Hebrews 12:11
  • Discipline has a purpose and goal
    • Purges evil and purifies the heart – Proverbs 20:30
    • Drives out folly and foolishness – Proverbs 22:15
    • Corrects condemning behavior – Proverbs 23:13-14
      • Exodus 21:20 – Compare the word “rod” here. The rod of discipline is painful!
    • Imparts wisdom and prevents shame – Proverbs 29:15-17; 17:25
      • Discipline early while there is hope! Proverbs 19:18
    • The goal is holiness and righteousness – Hebrews 12:7-11
  • Discipline MUST be motivated by love – Proverbs 3:11-12
  • Discipline and love linked – Proverbs 13:24
  • Unloving punishment is destruction – Ephesians 6:4
  • The Bible and discipline
Child abuse Godly discipline
Unfair, unexpected Fair, expected
Degrading, demoralizing Balanced, reasonable
Leaves permanent damage, scars Painful, no permanent damage
Motivated by hatred, emotional damage Motivated by love, emotional security
  • Administering discipline
    • Start early – Proverbs 19:18
    • Stay balanced – Proverbs 29:15
      • Use the rod and reproof – Proverbs 3:11-12
      • Verbal (not shouting, Galatians 5:20)
      • Sometimes it is sufficient – Proverbs 17:10
    • Corporal (the rod)
      • Never to vent anger (Ephesians 4:26)
      • Distinguish immaturity vs defiance
      • Be consistent, avoid extremes
      • Administer privately
      • Don’t delay – Ecclesiastes 8:11
      • Decide with your spouse
      • Pray for wisdom – Proverbs 2:6
      • Discipline by the Word of God – Ephesians 6:4
      • Seek godly counsel – Proverbs 15:22
    • The naysayers
      • Apply God’s pattern, expect ridicule – II Timothy 3:12
      • “Spanking is abuse, ya know”
      • “Your kids are just learning to hit others” – Colossians 3:20
    • Discipline’s reward
      • Discipline will be well worth the effort – Proverbs 10:1; 29:17
        • Eli’s regret – II Samuel 2:17, 24; 3:13
        • Lasting righteousness, holiness – Proverbs 22:6

Focusing on Mothers

Posted by mark under Sermons

By Jason Garcia

Benchley, April 24, 2016

  • Proverbs 31:10-31
  • The keeper of the house – Titus 2:3-5
    • Isaiah 66:13; Psalms 31:2
    • A mother’s priority should be the house.
    • Psalms 127:3 – Godly mothers will view their children as rewards from God.
    • II Timothy 5:14
  • A spiritual guide and example – Proverbs 31:26-30
    • A woman of sincere faith – II Timothy 1:5
    • A loving teacher – Titus 2:4-5; Proverbs 6:20-23
    • Wields influence – II Chronicles 22:2-4
      • Hebrews 11:23-27 – Moses’ parents were not afraid of the king’s edict because of their faith.
    • Practices discipline – Proverbs 29:15; 13:24