By David Watson

Benchley, October 23, 2016

  • Improve your communication, continued:
    • Be kind and courteous, continued:
      • God commands us to be king (Galatians 5:22; Ephesians 4:32). Shouldn’t we exercise this within our marriage?
      • Dr. John Gottman is able to predict the likelihood of divorce in a marriage based on a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions.
      • “I’m sorry” – Luke 15:21
      • “I forgive you” – Matthew 6:14-15
      • “Please” – Acts 26:3; Nehemiah 5:10-11
      • “Thank you” – Luke 17:16
      • “Good job” – Proverbs 31:28-29
      • “I love you” – Song of Solomon 1:7
    • Communication techniques
      • Write it out
      • Allow time for a break
      • Use the “speaker/listener” technique
    • Are there any words or methods that are absolutely off-limits?
      • “I told you so.”
      • Cuss words – Ephesians 4:29
      • Threats of divorce
      • One-upping
      • Name-calling
      • Stonewalling / silent treatment
  • Parents: radically commit to tender love and tough love
    • God is the perfect example of tender love and tough love. We ought to try to imitate him.
    • Employ a radical amount of tender love
      • God expresses His love through action – John 3:16
      • We should also express love through action – I John 3:16-18
      • We need to recognize that it’s one thing to say we love our children, it’s another thing to show
      • Parents ought to provide the basic necessities of life.
        • II Corinthians 12:14
        • Proverbs 31:15, 21, 23
        • Titus 2:4-5; I Timothy 5:14

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